Don’t Be Afraid To Stand Out
Ralph Ellison said, “All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself.” – Read that TWICE!
Are you guilty of letting what other people think of you (and the fact that you are FABULOUS and QUEER AF) run your whole life? How’s that working out for you?
I will go out on a limb and say probably not good. I know the feeling all too well because I lived it for a good chunk of my own life. You know, the trying to fit in? The trying to be “less gay” and “less ME” to appease family, friends and even….strangers. What a disaster!
I tried hanging out with the “right” people to get what was supposed to be the “right attention” — yea, that didn’t work out well for me either.
I had a master plan to fit in, but it just didn’t work. It was NEVER meant to be sustainable. I know that now. I am who I am. And, you are who you are. WE are LGBTQ same gender loving awesome people and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.
The biggest challenge you’ll face is trying to be someone you’re not. Honestly, had I known what was waiting for me on the other side of just being MYSELF, I would have embraced being AUTHENTICALLY ME a lot sooner than I did.
If people think you’re “weird” or “different” because you are being YOURSELF, stop right now and think about something for a second. Are any of these people LIVING YOUR LIFE? That’s not a trick question.
Getting caught up in the opinions of others is deadly. It can really hold you back in life. Let’s be clear….having an opinion about someone is fine because I am sure no one can say they don’t have ‘opinions’ about others, HOWEVER when that opinion becomes diluted with judgment and resentment and bitterness, it’s a problem. It’s a problem because what you think of another will surely boomerang back to you. What you put out boomerangs back to you. So, keep loving YOU. Keep accepting YOU. Keep celebrating YOU. Keep taking care of YOU. YOU matter the most. And, that will always be the case in ALL ways.
What we ‘think’ about others is a direct reflection of what we think about ourselves. So, don’t take on what other define you as. If they’re hatin’ because you are simply being you, loving who you do….let them. That’s projection. That’s something THEY have to deal with. Remain hashtag unbothered and keep slaying. You were born to be this FAB!
For all those who have been called “weird” or found themselves trying to fit in for any reason, I celebrate you! I celebrate you because honestly, I know that there is a driving force behind it. It’s almost like you have been brainwashed to think that it’s ok to NOT feel good enough or to think that being “weird” is a bad thing.
Be who you are!
My belief is that if you are not harming yourself or others in the process, it is absolutely OK to BE exactly who you are, labeled “weird” or not. The “NOT harming yourself or others” part is important so don’t gloss over that.
Listen, had I listened to all the opinions given to me about my life or my life choices, I wouldn’t be the “weirdo” I am today changing thousands of lives and being super gay while doing so. I would be stuck in actually believing that something was wrong with me…..that something was wrong with me wanting to make a difference in this world… while others just talked about making a difference. I would have believed that my sexuality defined what I could do in this world and whose life I could touch.
Wear your badge of honor of INDIVIDUALITY proud and never walk with shame ever again thinking that anyone has a right to TELL you who you are if it does not align with your own beliefs about yourself.
Simply REMEMBER how amazing you are. WE all are really….simply remember and never again take it personally when someone tries to force you to conform. It’s a blessing to be uniquely YOU.
Exercise your right to be “weird” — you’ve earned it!
Transformation Tips:
- Express who you are. Expression of who you are in a HEALTHY way is encouraged. Show the world who you are through song, poetry, art, dance, written word….whatever reflects who you are ACCURATELY, not what you “think” you should be, not to get “attention” of any sort, but simply because it LIVES within you and must come out. And, be PROUD doing it. You’re queer and you’re here and you sure aren’t going anywhere. Embrace all of that.
- Be honest with yourself. Infuse MORE self-love into the equation and live your own truth!
- Mind your own business. Forget the world, live your life and be yourself. Happiness will be right behind you! Remember the rule of thumb is “Harm NO ONE, including yourself” in the process of living your life.
Bless Up,
Coach Kerri