The year has just begun and there has already been a call for all “gays to burn in hell,” entertainers and TV personalities claiming to be the political voice for all black folks, threats of no health care, and a ban on Muslims- and we thought 2016 was rough. Many mornings, I watch the news in awe of the blatant stupidity and sheer hatred that has quickly become a sign of the times. But when I sit and think about it, I remember that none of this is new. There has always been hatred and bigotry. There has always been homophobia, racial and gender discrimination. Being black, brown or identifying as gay has always meant sorrow, fear, and oppression. All that has changed are the mouthpieces and the years on the calendar. What has not changed within me and others like me- others like US, is the ability and willingness to think for ourselves and speak up. The willingness to tell our stories loudly when society tries to drown us out. We are the revolutionaries- the ones who force change throughout the world. Each and every one of our stories is a piece of the puzzle.
Mel
Identifies as Bi-Gender/Trans
Identifies as Spiritual
I sit at my computer with a full glass of water and an empty word document in front of me. On the other end of the phone is Mel, a friend of mine and fellow creative soul. Before jumping into their interview, Mel and I reflect on how great it is to see young, black and brown queer people creating and collaborating. I take a long sip of water before the conversation gets heavy. Moments later, we’re trading war stories about growing up in a world that never seems to have answers to any of our questions. Soon the clicks on my keyboard match the triggers in my brain as memories of my upbringing begin to merge with theirs. Mel is a freelance photographer who enjoys doing candid portraits of every day people. Mel’s original photos are featured in this story.
Coming from a Roman Catholic, Belizean family, Mel recalls having debates with their father at the dinner table about many things. Sexuality being one of them. “Dad would say that Sodom and Gomorrah shit,” Mel recalls. The Bible reference reminds me of the Caribbean link we share. Like many children of Caribbean parents, Mel attended Catholic school (which was predominantly white) and was drilled on the ideologies of the Bible. Mel admits that it was conversations like these that they internalized, leading them to have homophobic beliefs growing up. Mel says “Growing up Catholic, there wasn’t a direct hatred in my school, but there was an ‘eraser.” When it came to coming out and being open with their sexuality, Mel remembers feeling as if it was not an option. “I imagined that anyone who identified as LGBT would be treated like a pariah.” Once a “proud Catholic,” Mel recalls traumatic school experiences amongst rigid Catholicism and stifling white privilege that led to the conclusion that, “Cis Catholics have a skewed ideology.”
Before long, I had a page full of notes. Dozens of red lines stood out on my screen as the computer’s spell check tried to correct my shorthand. Listening to Mel talk, I can’t help but realize just how much their words put my own thoughts about spirituality into perspective.
Currently, believes in the spiritual practices of Buddhism and points out that “it is Christians who ruin Christianity.” I cannot help but to agree. “To emulate Jesus’s word,” Mel continued, “You have to be someone who is not judgmental. If more people did [this], there would be a lot more understanding of marginalized communities.” As I listened to Mel talk, all I could do was nod in agreement as their words began to empower me. Hearing them speak about Christianity as a religion forced upon our ancestors through colonialism, I felt less like a writer and more like a history student. It was not that I had no prior knowledge of the start of Christianity, in fact I knew that the Caribbean (Jamaica in particular) was one of the places strong-willed African slaves were sent to be “broken.” It was on these islands that the strongest of captive Africans were humiliated by slave traders with acts of homosexual sex and rape. I began to see religion as something that, centuries before priests were being caught with alter boys, perpetuated the same homosexuality it admonished. Christianity has always been used to stifle us, the practices of our ancestors demonized as satanic and barbaric. It has NEVER included us-gays, blacks, browns, none of us.
Speaking on the hypocrisy of religion, Mel says, “If you [God] could use your almighty power to wipe out homosexuality, why not use the same power to wipe out colonialism, slavery, and oppression.“ I guess we can add that to the never ending list of questions no one truly knows the answer to.