Peter McWilliams said, “Guilt is anger directed at ourselves.” Do you agree? I do!
Ever feel like you are ONLY doing something because you feel “bad” or because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. Join the club!
Way too many people indulge in this practice. It goes hand in hand with “people pleasing.”
When you know you simply CAN’T do something (for whatever reason), beating yourself up about it only makes it worse. I have allowed myself to be riddled with guilt so many times in the past and it has gotten me NOWHERE — fast. Sound familiar?
When you make decisions and stand behind those decisions with conviction, do not be dissuaded. Do not let other people make you “feel bad” for doing what is necessary for you to live your life to the fullest. In other words, CANCEL your next guilt trip and unpack all that emotional baggage.
Walking around feeling guilty for things you can’t change is pointless. If you genuinely feel you have done something wrong and want to make it right, then by all means make a NEW choice and “fix it”, but never do something because you feel obligated to. If you stay on that path, resentment will build. Then, bitterness will set in. Trust me, it’s inevitable.
None of these things feel “good” and our natural state is to feel GOOD. Did you know that? If you are feeling anything other than GOOD, check in with your feelings and emotions.
Ask yourself — WHY am I feeling this way? Is it something I can fix by changing the way I am viewing this situation or individual? If the answer is YES, then go ahead and choose a NEW perspective right now. That will initiate healing. All other choices will leave you running in place or worse, repeating a cycle of negativity.
It’s a huge weight on your shoulders walking around with guilt, blame or shame. It’s not worth it. It’s YOU that you are harming in the long run.
I have learned to say YES to NO and it has been amazing to KNOW that I am simply not willing to give up my personal power. You have that same power. Don’t give it away so easily! It’s very draining living with a constant feeling of guilt. It also stops you from making the most effective and efficient decisions in your life.
In fact, you will end up making bad decisions simply because you’re reacting to feelings of guilt and not from a sincere place within yourself.
Lastly, beware of anyone that tries to PROJECT guilt onto you. That is also be a vicious cycle. If someone is constantly trying to make you feel guilty about something, stay aware and stay conscious. Don’t believe the hype!
If you KNOW better, do better!
Transformation Tips:
- Take a moment…or two. To eliminate feelings of guilt, take a moment and ask yourself what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about what you don’t want (people being mad, etc.) or are you thinking about what you do want? Once you focus on what you do want, then you can start thinking of solutions and start working towards that instead of feeling stuck.
- Eliminate “what if’s.” Forget about what could be different or what could have been different. Eliminate all that and embrace the fact that you can make new choices and decisions based on the NOW, not the past.
Bless Up,
Coach Kerri
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