We all know coming out is a very, very personal process. And, top of that it’s not like you ONLY come out once. What no one tells you is that once you say the words, you better get used to saying them – and, OFTEN because that nosey neighbor will inevitably inquire once she sees your new “roommate” moving in and all eyes will be on YOU at the next family gathering because that one cousin you trusted already made a conference call and NOW, everyone is just waiting for your BIG announcement as you pass the gravy at the dinner table.
Truth is once you have the ‘big reveal’, count on the fact that you’ll be coming out to family, friends and even, perfect strangers …. repeatedly.
Sound scary and overwhelming? It can be. If you’re not ready to live your truth completely.
While there will be many “how am I ever going to do this over and over again?” moments that come with the territory, there are also many MORE “I can’t believe I waited this long to do this” moments and those are the ones that end up REALLY counting.
3 Main Reasons You Should Consider Coming Out in 2016
- It’s EXHAUSTING living a double life. How long do you REALLY think you can keep up the charade? No, seriously?! How much longer? All of your stories have to match. The lies are all intertwined now. The having to watch what you say, only say enough not to spark curiosity, the bringing home someone of the opposite sex and painfully pretending that there is some Romeo and Juliet love affair in full swing…. it’s all so exhausting. You’ve got to be tired. I know I was! Let 2016 be the year you finally stop running and catch your breath. So, you can finally STAND STILL in your truth.
- There is so much FREEDOM awaiting you on the other side of coming OUT. Am I being Captain Obvious or what here? The scariest thing about coming out is NOT KNOWING what awaits you once you do. Well, spoiler alert…………FREEDOM, that’s what awaits you. Pure “THIS IS WHO I AM” joy that’s what. It’s not something you can truly explain to someone UNTIL you experience it for yourself. Knowing that you no longer have to hide a part of yourself is freedom. Being complete in your truth is freedom. It’s like being reborn because once you step INTO this part of your life…. the part that doesn’t require you to keep up appearances, you will wonder why you waited so long. We’ll even give you a pass when you want to go rainbow crazy for the first 6 months. Trust, we’ve all been there! Enjoy it.
- You get to leave all that SHAME of not feeling like you are enough behind. Coming out is usually especially hard because you already feel shame behind the fact that you might be a “disappointment” to your family (and even friends). You dread disappointing OTHER PEOPLE and so you are willing to “pretend” so they are comfortable. Well, how awesome would it be to just set all that shame down once and for all and just, LIVE?
Thing is, you have an ENTIRE community that has your back. We all share that ONE thing in common. We all knew we were “different” at a young age and we all had to come to terms with what that meant in our lives. Though our backgrounds may be different, the “secret” we have had to live with is the same. So, when you DO come out, take comfort in KNOWING that your TRIBE exists…. we have your back! We can help to guide you through what happens after you set all that shame down. There are so many resources and support systems available specifically set up to help with the “post coming out process.” It’s not like back in the day where everything was hush hush and you had nowhere to turn. You’re not alone! It’s time to really LIVE. NOW.
Listen, no doubt the coming out process is not always simple and straightforward and in your life subjectively, there may be all these other extenuating factors that play into the story. I know. I had a bunch of reasons too and they were all legit UNTIL they weren’t…. the moment I decided that I MATTERED more than what anyone had to say or thought of me (including my family), the moment I felt brave enough to look myself in the mirror and declare, “there’s NOTHING wrong with you, stop killing your own spirit by hiding behind a lie” was life changing.
Coming out takes courage, but you will never know how strong you are UNTIL you give yourself an opportunity to SEE what you’re made of.
Be proud. Be YOU. If you need help coming out in 2016, reach out. I’m here. I’ve been there and I’ve done that. And, it’s life changing. In a good way.
