Year “31” is on the approach and lately I’ve had a case of what I guess we can call baby fever.
It started way back when I made a pact with one of my straight female friends that if we are single at the age of 30 that we would have kids together. That time has long gone but the desire has been there mainly because most of my friends from high school are on their second or third child by now. Reality kicks in after that all that day dreaming to remind me that I am full blown “GAY”.
The harsh reality that a gay man cannot have a child has begun to stand boldly in my face as of late. Being an uncle is fine because when you get tired you can give your niece or nephew back to your sibling. But, there’s those times when you wish you could have your own little angel/gremlin to raise. For gay men ( or two gay men) the adoption process has been a painstaking battle amongst the other list of anti-LGBT legislature of current. It makes you wonder if being a gay uncle maybe all you ever will have.
When being an uncle just isn’t enough, there are only a few other options that exist:
Have a planned baby with a female friend: This is always the popular “planned” event that maybe never happens at all. Your female friend finds a man, gets married and you are left high & dry without a baby of your own.
Commercial Surrogacy: This has become a very popular route for straight couples & gay couples in Europe. Commercial Surrogacy is a hot commodity in India where doctors have created “baby-factories” where a majority of poor-uneducated women put their womb up for sale for 9-months for a sum of $3000-$7000. There are varying spectrums to how the surrogates are treated. But at some point it starts to look like baby-trafficking.
Pretend you’re straight, get married to a woman: Very interesting that I have seen a few people that I know going for this option. The weird thing is, is that the women that they are getting married to know that they are gay or have a proclivity to sleeping with men and are 100% fine with it.
Adoption: Personally I have always leaned towards this option being brother to my adopted sister. There are millions of wonderful children who need a loving home. There are children who through no fault of their own are homeless, abused and hungry. These are the future kids who all they need is love. You can adopt kids at any age. It’s not too complicated to parent single or with your partner, a lot of companies help support you and there are a range of ages of the kids you can select to adopt. So easy even Karamo, the gay ‘Real World’ star did it.
Although adoption may seem like the best and most ethical option, there are people out there that feel that gay/lesbian couples do not deserve the right to adopt. I want to adopt, but I question if I can do it all by myself, do I make enough money to handle my expensive taste as well as my child and will I be good enough to raise child or will being an uncle be all I ever get.
